The kingdom of my garden

The garden at my Mum’s place is one of my most cherished belonging.At many times, I have tried to capture its beauty in my words , but  words failed me – what I feel for this garden goes much deeper than how it looks or what I write.I have written many drafts and posts on my older blogs about my garden. I’d write next one compiling them in a post but there is a story , with my garden as backdrop, which lay in draft , and is close to my heart .Here it is .

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Banana trees in our garden

A neighbourhood tale

Once upon a time, there were lot of kids,lots and lots of them -and they all liked to play in one particular garden , because that was the largest garden in the neighborhood(our garden that is ).And then there was my dad.He  used to take care of the garden , and made sure  no one picked a flower, wasted water or harmed the plants . And he had a doggy friend, who was called ..err..Doggy by our family. This doggy used to do nothing (yeah..not even barking) except  wagging tail and ridding away  its caretakers of guilt of wasting food.Other than garden , kids were equally fascinated by him(doggy) and it was those kids who named him Chaploos,because as they put it,he was doing Chaploosi of my dad all day long.
“We have constructed a little dog house for  Bruno in your garden”, they told me . one late afternoon , as I opened the gate to answer the doorbell .
“And Who is Bruno , may I ask ? ” ,I asked looking at each one of them,standing there in a bunch with excited faces.
“Chaploos, who else?” they told me in unison.
Apparently , Chaploos had been renamed to Bruno as these naughtysome bunch of kids finally realized that  they were being very unfair to Doggy by calling him Chaploos all the time and that he deserved some decent name.And that, since it was our garden where his dog house was , my family was formally informed of the decision.

Now , it was time for Bruno to arrive and see his surprise. As ,”Ded futiya”(1 and a half feet tall – the next door kid who we lovingly called so ,because of his height) watched him at the end of the street , he screamed, “Bruno aa raha hai ..Bruno aa raha hai” , it was supposed to be a surprise for him.
Bruno had a fixed time to arrive at the garden .Every evening , when my dad would have his evening tea with biscuits , Bruno would come wagging his tail and sit beside him . We kept wondering where all the supply of biscuits was vanishing . Not a long time after , dad revealed with puppy eyes that it was him feeding “bhau” secretly on biscuits.( with his speech problem , the only word in my dad’s vocabulary for dogs was “bhau ” after their barking sound)

Now , as he reached the garden’s gate, he hesitated to see so many kids together and stopped there.He had been a victim of lot of pranks of these kids and wasn’t up for it anymore .But the kids , patting him and encircling him like he was a king ceremonially directed him to the dog house. The dog house made up of clay ,marbles and yeah,tiles was a little too small to get a fully grown dog like him to  accommodate. But . intelligent he was , realized , it meant something for the kids , and that it was some sort of kind gesture to him,so in order not to disappoint the kids, kept his paw inside the dog house.As he struggled to accommodate a little more of him , in the dog house , kids cheered and danced to celebrate the success of their project .

***

Now , as I finish the draft of this post , I don’t remember how long that dog house lasted , but whenever I sit in my garden , I picture my dad sitting there with his radio , wearing his spectacles , sipping his tea and complaining that “bhau” didn’t come for his biscuits.
I miss you dad, I miss you the most in our garden , its not the same without you.

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Thoughts

I have noticed a strange thing about me.Not sure, if it is common among other people.I try to find a purpose in everything I do.Anything I do, should make sense.To give an example , while I was scurrying through my Computer Science books , I thought , if  I am studying these books anyways, why not get a degree?
Why ?Because it attached a sense of purpose to it .If I had not enrolled for MS later on,I’d have written a blog based on my learning  ,why , because it would attach a purpose – of sharing it for common good.

I think it is good at times but at other times , bad. Continue reading

June 21st,2014

Hola ,Blog!

Did you miss me? I surely did miss you . There is a magical charm in pressing your “Publish” button.It’s like a milestone in my life getting etched.And this charm kept me pulling back to you.

But ,well,life you know.
Last few months at office had been really stressful and hectic.So last few weeks  were spent consciously recovering from this mental overload .And , what was my recovery plan ? I did  absolutely nothing on weekends. Even ignored cooking as much as I could :P , pretending meal times didn’t exist or that missing a meal or two didn’t make a difference .
And it worked to an extent . I feel lighter and bored with this newly found nothing-to-do routine and I am ready to bounce back- in the world of multitasking  along with experiencing the little joys that life has to offer everyday-  which is the zest of my life – my happiness dwells in the pockets of laughter with family, a refreshing talk with friends, a walk in the peaceful purple sky night ,a few moments to spend with my blog -things that exist everywhere , everyday free of cost.

Continue reading

A meeting years back

The following was saved in a word document on my hard disk – about the day I met Rajeev Vaid (RV) and Patrick Kerr (Pat) – alumni from my college , my mentors and cherishable friends. My marriage with Pankaj was about 2 months away and they wanted to meet the lucky guy :).

Here is what I wrote

While we were sipping coffee at CCD , RV remarked, “Ultimately..it does not matter in life, which college you graduated from- all that matters is that you get to sip coffee with your friends like this and the value you give to your kids”. That was touching. Especially when I had just met a few friends from college over dinner last night, one of whom I was meeting straight after college, and the other two I met briefly a few months ago at another classmate’s marriage.Time flies.Over a pizza,and fancy looking drinks, we discussed who was where,and how were the work cultures of respective companies and the future plans.While in college, I could never imagine things to be like this, but its good.

With Pat and R V , we went to Bernardo’s,a Goan eatery in Galleria .Pat’s voice contains a warmth that will melt hardest of hearts.He can make you so much at ease with his down to earth persona.

I was tempted to try all the fish curries and cutlets but for the navratras , I resisted the temptation.Though the brinjal curry was amazing too,this was probably the first time I ventured into eating brinjal , but it was worth it.

March is here !


This time the weather played some real dirty tricks.March is almost gone and my favorite breeze is nowhere.Temperature is scaring 35 degrees on many days.And many of my clothes which are meant for this season – have already been packed along with rest of the warmer clothes.I wonder what would peak of summers be like in June?

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The year that was 2012

**Before you begin,let me issue a warning at the very outset- this post is a long journey.Embark on it with an open mind and time to spare**

Every year, towards the end of it , I think of  writing a retrospective post.And the resolutions and new beginnings  that the new year is hoped to bring(for me).But then , contemplating the post’s length and the enormous quantity of thoughts and experiences that will be huddled up in  one post , makes me go into procrastination mode. I tell myself that each one of those experiences deserves a separate space as an individual  post and I promise myself to write separate posts for all of them.And then neither the long combined post nor the separate individual  posts see the light of the day.

I am one very busy woman ( that’s what I feel – not a girl anymore); unfortunately – I am not complaining.I love my job and my family and to keep them both on an equal foot – I am always involved in either of them.And when I realize that I love myself equally good – this is what I do – take a moment out , and sit down to write.Take a pause  and breathe.

Continue reading

Just another post

Its one of those Saturdays when I am at office,and some of the Saturdays in office pass like a breeze , but there are some on which  every moment drags itself and seems painfully longer.Today is one such Saturday.And the best thing I can do to make this Saturday feel better is -to write.

I realize I haven’t written in a long time, this when , lots of thoughts are taking shape in my mind. I am brimming with some  fantastic blog ideas , and those are the one I’d love to write about , but then , they require research,dedication and single- mindedness.So, I guess, I’ll wait for the right time, since there are so many higher priority things right now that need attention.

Behind the curtains, I have a few posts in drafts about my Mussorie trip – my rendezvous with nature and my thoughts on (read feelings  for )my favorite author- Ruskin bond, and a post on flowering trees of tropical regions – this latter post I plan to write every summer when I am besotted with beautiful Gulmohurs and Amaltas, but then somehow I end up just relishing  the experience and the pictures and post get lost in the ocean of my other hobbies and interests.
I think it has got something to do with the theme of the blog also, the pictures loose their quality and resolution once uploaded and lose their essence.So I guess , I need to fix up the issues with the blog pretty soon , because this is my place and I love it beautiful.

Meanwhile , I also realize that I have evolved a lot as a person post-marriage.But may be I’ll write a separate post on that too .That’s too long a thing to talk about and share (see my laziness is coming back to me).Other than that ,I also realize my interests change at a very high frequency.So, one of the weeks, I am hooked to all technical articles, and next week I am all about fashion blogs.Third week,I am frantic about health food recipes.And fourth, I am into painting and paper craft.Thankfully , all this time I stay committed to my work , else we would have serious problems here.Interesting thing is that they follow a cyclic pattern.So, fifth week , I come back to technical articles and so on.Sprinkle the weekends with movies,gardening and Ruskin bond books and that’s me – decoded.I still don’t know what I love the most out of all these activities , but I do love what all I do.

Another thing I have recently fallen in love with is -Sitcoms. Sex and the City re-runs’ last season has just concluded ( another post on that) and I am completely hooked to “Comedy Central”  now- I have just started exploring this channel and I find its light humorous shows a pleasure.This channel has been available in India just recently and I had gone completely unreasonable, after the local Cable wallah aired it as a tease one fine day .I called him up 100 times and checked d2h ‘s sites every other day to check when could I get the channel on my set top box.Finally , this week, Pankaj surprised me with getting a subscription for the channel.The only trouble left is – the timings of  his WWE  and my shows conflict.  :|  .     Anyways , I recommend these TV shows to everybody who looks forward to some laid back TV watching of an hour or so to de-stress the mind after a hectic day at work ( and kitchen).

On another front, books I have been reading are ” A handful of nuts” and ” Notes from a small Room ” both by Ruskin bond. “A handful of nuts ”  is a story woven from incidences and characters picked (some real some fictional)from  21st year of life of Ruskin bond (thinking of which , I guess my 21st year of life would never make for a good story ).I find Ruskin’s humor very genuine and amusing.I wish, as a kid , I had read his books,it would have turned my childhood into more fun.

Another book I am going to read in this week is  “Ways of a Peaceful Warrior-Dan Millman ” gifted by my friend Nikhil and it looks very promising to me.

On web front ,I came across this link->

http://www.arvindguptatoys.com/  -An inspirational Educationist ‘s site- “Toys from trash” – explore it for yourself. As for me , I found a heaven of e-books there .More so , because when I downloaded “Ahabooks” , Arvind Gupta’s compilation of book titles which he recommends as a joy for reading , I found names of some of my precious books there , so , I guess , I am going to like the e-books.

Well, that pretty much sums up what’s going on in my life.I look forward to have a plenty of time to write more posts and share with you the great things that can happen in one’s life.

I felt…

I had just opened this page to pen down my thoughts about the ongoing winters and then out of an impulse – I visited my previous blog  – the blog closest to my heart.I started this (previous)blog when I had just embarked on this journey of books,movies,self-discovery and writing.Before that , I was too busy taking my life seriously.

I didn’t expect that I would be – but I was….astonished.

Of late, I find myself unable to have a humorous take on the daily events of my life.I also find myself unable to write an article that’s just my opinion about an abstract topic or a thing in general.But there I was , writing what I felt about a certain thing or how my being single was a funny thing. At some places, I found my writing childish.At one place , I had even written “thinked” !!, some words were overused,some trite,but apart from that ,rest all of it was really fresh.My thoughts were  gentle and optimistic.I had patience and time for writing.I wasn’t clueless whenever I ‘d think of writing down something.It was like I met a completely different person there. A person I “was”.It captures my thought process during college , transition to professional life,beautiful experiences that overwhelmed me.There is this post on my Mussorie trip and it took me through that journey again.Some places I narrated, the dream-like road, the hills, everything is so fresh and clear in my mind-I could feel their fragrance again.

Now when I write , I feel like my thoughts are held back,may be because of lack of appropriate words or expression,or the fear of being judged.This is not good.It makes me selective about what I write , so even when I re-visit this blog, I know its not my true self that’s portrayed here.It hides itself somewhere behind those posts.The ordeal of principles,beliefs and stark reality and my gradual evolution was palpable to me in my previous blog, but now as I evolve , I somewhere want to hide this fact from myself also.I know “I” am getting lost somewhere .I felt happy for who I was , but I felt sad for myself.I felt sad for my writing.I felt sad for my lost expression.I felt sad -for there is one life and I shouldn’t be feeling sad.

Karnal – a page from my life’s diaries

This was posted as a note on my facebook page.

The fact that this pic was taken in Karnal keeps bringing my mind and heart back to the times I spent there.The school days,friends,coaching classes,teenage crushes,career ambitions,excitement about co-currics at school,dreams I nurtured and the strength and will I gained from difficult times.

We took this pic on our way to a cousin’s marriage in Punjab.We were short on time and I left with a yearning to spend a day or two in karnal,completely at leisure-visiting all my favorite spots, catching up with school friends and viisiting my school,my alma mater.

The thought of Karnal brings rushing back all the memories of the good and the difficult times we spent there.To think about it that we left Karnal broken hearted,does invoke some sadness but  mostly its fondness I look back with.Karnal shaped me up in the person I went on to become in the coming years of my life.Kept me going.Kept me grounded.

And as I got this pic clicked with the most favorite person of my life,at the place from where I started my journey,I felt strangely contended.Not because of some material accomplishments.I felt contended with the person Karnal had brought out of me.And I felt contended with the person I stood with.The love I had earned being a person I was, from friends,family and him.That’s Karnal for me – the one that lives within.

I miss you Mom

My mom came down to visit me at my in-laws place this weekend.And, as she was about to leave, I could not hold myself back.I felt the same way as I felt on my first day in creche.

I was around 2 or 2 and a half years then.The moment I realized she was about to leave me for whole day at an unfamiliar place, I started crying at the top of my lungs.She hugged me and soothed me and told me I was a strong girl and that she knew I’ll manage well.I stood there tearfully,incessantly sobbing as I watched the door between her and me shut down.And as she looked back at me, I could see helplessness in her eyes and how heartbroken she was.She looked the same picture now.And I felt like the same kid.For a moment, nothing else mattered or existed for me , except for that mother-daughter relationship.And I wished I could forget all my responsibilities, ties and traditions and could simply walk home with her.

And as she left,I realize  that I live this wish everyday.From the day I got separated from my Mom.Everyday ,when I head back home,I wish I could go to my mother’s ,without any justification,reason or occasion.Every time I feel low, I wish I could cry my way to her, like I have always used to .But I am an adult now..

…adult as helpless as a kid being left in the creche.

A quickie

Summers are here.Gulmohurs have started blooming into an orange-red burst.I like this season.May be because spending my day hooked to a laptop in the cool ambience of AC, spares me from the fury of the sun.

I have been reading Ruskin Bond books again.Thanks to the people who love me.The Kitemaker and a Ghost stories Collection edited by Ruskin bond.I feel like alive again whenever I read books.

Apart from that , I have started treading the unexplored territories in my life, ie watching horror movies.Resident Evil being the first one.Yes yes, the movie isn’t actually a horror movie.But since I used to think of it as a horror movie, so I guess , its good for the starter.

Also, I am a proud owner of an Iphone4 now.So, finally I can discuss (more :P)intelligently about the smartphones and the technology,my latest fad these days.

And,I am painting these day.Not the intricate fine paintings.But just basic coloring on earthern posts.Again, I guess,good enough for the one who can’t tell a paintbrush from a toothbrush :P

But certain things never change..like my love for pizza.

So, it sounds more like an update post than a real post , but sometimes , you need to talk about yourself.

Spring of love

In the vast stillness of midnight,I realized this…my favorite season is back..its a lovely lovely weather..I would say this is March weather pre-poned.The harsh coldness has been replaced with a romantic coolness.The leaves join the symphony in the evening when the breeze plays the music.And don’t I just love it..the mercury lamps aglow,people out on road-jogging,chatting,celebrating a spring called life.

And yes,this is finally the month of love :).I still remember the hype that was attached to the Valentine’s week in college times.Apart from festivals,birthday and Valentine used to be the most awaited.If not from boys, we girls would indulge each other with cards,roses,chocolates etc and made each other feel special in our own ways.The hype has died down for me years later when I realize its rose day or a  hug day by a  stray mail or a message.Valentine is round the corner and I can’t feel it..man-made hype notwithstanding.

What I can feel is ..spring in the air which talks itself to me..and asks me to write down what it tells to me.

 

Coming back..

I am evolving,and so is my blog going to.My new name in this new life is Bani.Bani Chaswal.Around1 quarter of my life,I spent as Deeksha Mehta.On blogs as Sehar and Suditi.But now,they all have culminated into Bani..the sacred voice.

I ‘ll soon post about Andamans and how this place is every traveller’s delight.I also look forward to write about well I don’t know what al.But I do want to write!To make a comeback to my most fav task.

See ya soon!

26 August,2010

It was time to say goodbye – to the name Noodles of Korea-since I am back to India for what seems like for-good.Though lot of Korean experiences still yearn to be shared.Though I love noodles :) (and pizza and pasta and french fries and burger) and it’s hard to let go a name which  brings the thought of  intriguing,tasty noodles-I still think I should not be missing on sharing other details of my trivial little life .

30 July,2010

God definitely is God.While enjoying spring in South Korea,I had developed a fear of scorching heat of Delhi summers.But monsoons poured in as soon as I landed, and weather has never been a pain after that.

Work keeps me on my heels.And that makes me think.What’s important for happiness and what’s not ,what’s the greater purpose of life and all, how will it matter if I die as an inconsequential element like millions of others, or how will it not and at times, I explain to myself the cycles of life and death.I guess that’s work pressure talking :P

India

I am back to India and even though I still have to get used to harsh sun,dust,jams and road rages and potholed roads,I loved it as earthworms flocked our verandah when it rained.I realized there are a few things that belong only to India – the stories of a  struggle of lifetime behind the wrinkled faces riding bicyle to work,street smartness in the road side vendors and auto wallahs and every second body trying to make few extra fast bucks,  uncertainity of the next meal for an old person pushing a loaded cart. It seems ironical sometimes.

Sigh

It is 11:30 am in South Korea and my eyes are burning.The work is staring back at me and I am trying hard to pretend that I am not bothered.Manisha is going back to India , so with her packing her suitcases, I was rehearsing my packing saga in my mind, yet to take place two weeks from now.So much awaits me there!The fond hugs,aromatic food,loved ones and the happiness on their faces to see the gifts I would bring them in.

On the hind side, I am gonna miss HQ(Suwon Office),the adorable team I have, tattered English everybody speaks and mine has turned into,the tik-tiketto of heels around and a sea of beautiful faces – innocent expressionless oval faces.

20 days to go!